It is the middle of the night, I open my eyes with a start. That sinking feeling washes over me like a tidal wave. I failed. At the one thing my body is supposed to be good at. The one thing it was designed to do well. The one thing I am on this planet to do. Give birth. I am a failure. To myself. To womanhood. To my baby. And I have this scar that happily reminds me of this fact every bloody day. 18 months earlier, when I was pushing for 3 hours, pushing a baby that was 4 we