Since I have become I mother I have discovered whole new worlds I did not know existed. Underground Facebook support groups of knackered women. Breastfeeding ‘you can do this even though your nipples are falling off and you haven’t closed your eyes to sleep in 6 weeks’ groups. Stay and Plays where we don’t talk, we just glance at each other knowingly. ‘Yes, motherhood is a little bit shit’ looks. Baby swimming lessons, where for all involved getting ourselves and our screaming babies dressed and dried is perhaps the most challenging thing we have ever done. More than childbirth I swear. And I put myself through it every god dam week.
And then, there is the CBeebies Fandom. A religion.
Yes I have a little crush on Andy. Yes I once had a naughty dream about Mr Tumble (scary shit). But I truly class the CBeebies ‘family’ as my family. I see them on a daily basis. I know them. I get excited to see them. And do you know what?! I learn stuff TOO!!! ‘How does it work?’ is the dog’s bollocks. I learn so much from (a bit too perfect for my liking) Maddie. I did not know how a crane worked with its hydraulic system. And now I do! Andy’s Baby Animals, how cute are they?! (And yes, I do have a thing for tall curly haired men OK?) And who knew that little baby penguin was looked after mainly by his dad?! I KNEW NOT!
And of course, Mr Tumble. What more could you want in a man? He taught my child to touch his nose. Blink three times. And then off it goes. Oh, and how to sign ‘picnic basket’. Coz that’s useful.
Sometimes when my child is napping I still watch CBeebies. On my own. Without a child. I miss my family when they aren’t there. Is that a bit sad? Perhaps it is. I care not.
Frankly, before I had said child, I couldn’t give a crap about these groups, these mothering fandoms, and certainly not CBeebies. Motherhood was something boring friends did who had no life, career or ambition. (Yes I am ashamed of myself for these thoughts!)
But I have now discovered my spiritual mothering home.
In these mothering worlds we find solace. Kinship. Sisterhood. A knowing that need not be said. I find this in my CBeebies fandom. I imagine all the parents out there singing to Justin’s House together. (It is the best theme tune EVER!) I am imagining you all singing along to the bedtime song, wishing your children would go the fuck to sleep. I see you all signing the Mr Tumble song. (We all get great satisfaction out of doing all the actions don’t we!) I see you discussing with the other adult in the house just how fucking TRIPPY In The Night Garden is (don’t even get me started on that hussy Upsy Daisy and her skirt). But my point is, CBeebies brings us all together. A parenting mecca. And now we have Tom Hardy and the bedtime story. On a monthly basis. Thank you CBeebies. I love you CBeebies.